Thursday, October 4, 2007

If I were to write a letter to Oprah

If I were to write a letter to Oprah, what would I say?

Something like this...

Dear Oprah,

Nine years and five days ago, a tragedy of an unspeakable kind happened to our family. Our son, Jared, took his life. He was 13 years and 6 days old.

Our family has never been the same; I have never been the same.

When I walked into our home that morning, after being called by a dispatcher to come home, and heard the news from my husband, that Jared was dead, I knew that depression had driven Jared to take his life and that bullying was the trigger.

That was the moment of change in my life. Since that day, I have resolved that I would try to prevent that same outcome in other lives.

I would say more...
I would want Oprah to see that she can help me in my resolve.
But maybe I'll add more in the next blog

Brenda High
Author, Bullycide in America


Mary said...


My grandsons, who are ages 12 and 10 are having a terrible experience with bullying at school. We have complained to the principal, the Superintendent of the school they attend and the school board. Still, the incidents continue.

The boys have been spit on, swarmed, punched in the face and have been the object of others using the swiping motion across the neck, indicating that they will have their throats slit. Any advice would be very much appreciated.

Thanks in advance.

Nancy said...

Hey Brenda, This is Nancy, Zack's mom. Alot has been going on in school for him, and it is not all good. Monica and I want to resume our activity status with bullypolice.
Zack has been being punched in the privates at his tech school, and nothing is done to the students involved. As a matter of fact, the teacher screamed in Zack's face, calling him a liar. He is about to loose it.

Patrick Harnish said...

First to the two posts on here, I can feel your childrens pain. At 17 I lost control, students nearly got severely hurt in my school. I understand how your children feel, and what it is to think that no one is there to help you. It is a feeling I will carry the rest of my life. I am surviving now as an adult, and I feel blessed to have found others who have gone through the same things I have. My time in school is one I never want to relive, and getting schools to see it is a challenge. All of the authors of bullycide in america have done something wonderful to get that knowledge out there, and I commend them for bringing their pain to the light of the people. As communities we have to change the setting, and schools have to change their environments. We cannot any longer avoid the pain of these children, and they have to be found as early as possible, so they can recover without feeling like they have fought a war and lost. My prayers go out to all of the mothers who are dealing with a stubborn school, administrations that don't care, teachers who fail to see, and belittle children. I will continue my work as long as their is one child hurt, that one in despair, because I have to have hope that something is and can be done. Thank you Patrick Harnish CAABI Iowa


Nancy said...

My son was put through hell for years by bullies. No matter how many times we went to the principals, nothing was done. There were 2 times that he made comments about wanting to get hit by a car so he would not be around for them to hurt him. Also, he said he wished he was deaf so he wouldn't have to hear all the nasty things that they said. Another thing, what do you do when the bully is a teacher, and the school always takes her side? Brenda, if you are reading this, this is Nancy, Zack's mom from Pennsylvania.

Joanie said...

Dear Oprah, My 9 yr old son has been a victim of School bullying since 2004. I haev made hundreds of phone calls, complaints, and conferences regarding it to no avail. My son Antonio is still afraid to go to school, has every symptom there is of being bullied. In NYS we do not have a ANTI-BULLYING LAW to protect our children and establish proper safety at school. I wish to be a guest on your show and lobby for this law. I wish to raise awareness locally to the issue. The old saying when I was a child and getting bullied was " STICKS & STONES WILL HURT MY BONES BUT NAMES WILL NEVER HURT ME!" This is a MYTH!! Names do hurt your very SOUL!! I was one of those kids scared of my own shadow, running home from school. I intend to put an end to BULLYING in 2009. If all Mother's band together as 1, we can save our children's future and take back what Bully's have stolen. Mothers across the Globe, Unite with me . Blessings

Kat said...

My 15 year old son has been bullied off and on for two years. The first year kids made fun of him by calling him names and throwing pop cans at him on the walk from the bus stop. After 3 visits to the school the bullying seemed to stop, only to start the next school year in school. I made multiple visits again, only to have the same issues again. He is being kicked and hit in class by kids who walk in the classroom before class starts while the teacher is in the hallway. Because I have raised my children not to fight with people, he just takes it and takes it until he gets to upset he doesn't want to go to school. My son now is at his breaking point and doesn't even want to go to school. How do I tell my child you have to go to school, when this is happening to him and he tells us he is done with this school. I can not stand to watch this happen or let it happen anymore. I will be at the school everyday until they are so sick of seeing me that they will do something about the bullying problem. If my son is going through this, how many more children are going through this. Kids feel like they can not tell because they will be labeled a snitch and made fun of even more.
Has the school ever considered that my sons work performance is an indication that something is going on? That he is about ready to give up on anyone and everything. The school's opinion, send him to an alternative high school, when he is not the one with the bad behavior. Why is it that good people are ultimately the ones labeled with something wrong with them. My son has never gotten in trouble at school, is kind, caring, thoughtful, and would do anything for anyone. This bullying has got to stop for the sake of everyone.

Patrick Harnish said...

I totally agree with you, it needs to stop. To many kids are taking their lives, and if a presence is needed to quell what is going on, it might help. We as parents cannot always be there in the school with them, work is an extensive presence in most adults lives. Holding the schools accountable is where we need to be, along with some more community focusing in the laws.